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June 3, 2008

Straight Man Accidentally Sees ‘Sex and the City’

‘Terrifying’ Experience, Says Home Depot Clerk

A self-styled heterosexual man from Akron, Ohio said today that he was “traumatized” over the weekend after attending a showing of the new Sarah Jessica Parker film, “Sex and the City.”

Hendrick Colton, 34, said that he bought a ticket to the summer blockbuster “Iron Man” at his neighborhood multiplex but wandered into the theater showing “Sex and the City” instead.

“The minute the movie came on, I knew something was terribly, terribly wrong,” he said.

Mr. Colton, a sales clerk at a Home Depot in the Akron suburbs, said he tried to leave the theater immediately but was seated in the middle of a row, making it impossible to escape without causing commotion.

“Everyone around me was laughing their heads off and shouting ‘You go, girl!'” he said. “It was terrifying.”

A spokesman for New Line Cinema, the company that released “Sex and the City,” said that the film grossed $55 million over the weekend but that Mr. Colton was the only heterosexual man known to have seen it.

Friends of Mr. Colton who spoke on condition of anonymity said that the Akron man seemed shaken by the experience of seeing the movie and was concerned that others might now doubt his longstanding claim of being heterosexual.

Davis Logsdon, a professor of human sexuality at the University of Minnesota, said that a straight man could attend a film such as “Sex and the City” without experiencing any change in his sexual identity.

“A heterosexual man could see that movie and remain heterosexual at its conclusion,” Dr. Logsdon said. “Having said that, it’s totally gay that he did that.”

The article was published by Borowitz

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US winter soldiers

US/IRAQ: “Enough Is Enough, It’s Time to Get Out”
By Dahr Jamail

SEATTLE, Jun 2 (IPS) – Dozens of veterans from the U.S. occupation of Iraq converged in this west coast city over the weekend to share stories of atrocities being committed daily in Iraq, in a continuation of the “Winter Soldier” hearings held in Silver Spring, Maryland in March.

At the Seattle Town Hall, some 800 people gathered to hear the testimonies of veterans from Iraq. The event was sponsored by the Northwest Regional Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW), and endorsed by dozens of local and regional anti-war groups like Veterans for Peace and Students for a Democratic Society.

“I watched Iraqi Police bring in someone to interrogate,” Seth Manzel, a vehicle commander and machine gunner in the U.S. Army, told the audience. “There were four men on the prisoner…one was pummeling his kidneys with his fists, another was inserting a bottle up his rectum. It looked like a frat house gang-rape.”
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